Dr. Janet Reading

LMFT

I tend to be very supportive and unconditionally accepting of others as well as where they find themselves in life. I may not accept their behaviors, but I accept who they are as an individual. As I am very accepting and nonjudgmental, I expect honesty and trust from the client which they can also expect from me. However, I also work towards helping them to learn to take responsibility for their decisions and how that effects their life, without blaming others for their situation. It is essential that each client realize that they cannot change the behavior or beliefs of others in their life, but they can only change themselves. It is my strong belief that you are not a product of your circumstances but are a result of your own decisions in life.

One of the primary themes I have noticed in treating individuals who are resolving personal issues during a separation or divorce is the process of getting to know themselves again. Often, in attempting to resolve the difficulties in a marriage or significant relationship, individuals have compromised their core and have become out of touch with who they are. In asking questions such as: “Describe yourself to me” or “What do you do for fun” or “What are your interests”, those who are suffering through the trauma of a threatened or terminated significant relationship have difficulty answering such questions as they no longer know themselves. Therefore, much of therapy, in addition to addressing the emotions associated with separation, focus on redefining themselves and who they want to become as well as personal goals of growth during this life transition.

The client is always in charge of determining goals during therapy. Often, those goals need to be clarified in the process of identifying specific goals. For example, “I’m tired of feeling so down” or "What do I need to do to save my relationship" or “I want to feel better about myself” or “I want to know where to go from here” may need to be broken down to clarify an attainable goal. Although therapeutically I may have alternative goals to suggest later in the process after the client’s initial goals are achieved, it is essential that what the client wants is addressed first and foremost. It is the client’s decision whether additional goals are added later after the initial goals are achieved. How we attain those goals will also be clarified and agreed upon at the onset of counseling.