Ashley Pauson

LMHC, LIMHP

Themes I've noticed throughout my career involve the impact of intergenerational trauma. These traumas can be big or small, receptive ones. Families tend to carry on generational dysfunction, not because they want to continue the cycle of dysfunction but because it is so deeply ingrained in them and their relationships with others. The journey to breaking these patterns is hard. It requires not only making changes in how we treat ourselves and others but also forgiveness of ourselves and others. What I often see is adults who didn't get what they needed as children and then pass this on to their children. These adults were also raised by adults who didn't get what they needed as children.... this could go on and on,,, ultimately leading to the perpetual cycle of dysfunction UNTIL someone is brave enough to take a giant leap toward change or multiple generations take small steps toward it. Society has also played its part in fostering dysfunction and even offered expert advice which we now know to be detrimental, particularly to how children are treated and raised. I see the lingering effects of this often in my practice. I strongly advocate to raise our children with empathy and a better understanding of the developing brain. I emphasize the importance of connection and what attachment research shows us as we will carry what we learn in the early years well into adulthood - impacting our ideas about ourselves and our relationships with others. If we want a better world, it starts with treating children better which also means adults will need to process their issues to avoid passing them along because they will if they don't. Children are our mirrors. We need to model what we want to see.