Sarah Kosterlitz

LCSW, LICSW

Many of the folks I work with talk about building sense of self and increasing confidence in their identities. Whether it be adoptee, BIPOC, queer or something else, the themes around identity development often come up. Even when this is not a primary concern or topic for the client, we have conversations around how our sense of identity can impact other things in our lives (communication skills, emotional regulation, validation from others, sense of support or community, etc). I will bring up identity questions and considerations with my clients as one way to help them understand their roles and needs in situations and experiences.

I am considered a non-directive therapist in that I will not have a list of topics we need to get to or a list of worksheets for clients to complete. I like to let the client lead us in topics that are important for them and then see where that takes us. For clients needing a little more structure, I can give HW and we can have "back pocket" topics ready as well. While the concept of "neutrality" is taught and encouraged in graduate school, I would like my clients to know that I am not neutral on certain things. I have human reactions and emotions to things that I do not keep checked at the door. Part of my belief around therapy being helpful for folks is that my clients have to also see me as human. I hope the shared humanity can be way to build a therapeutic alliance and towards healing.