Shane Knox

LMFT

One core belief that I've held since I was an adolescent is that people always do what makes sense, given the sum total of their knowledge, experiences, beliefs, traumas, skills, etc. In other words, if I were in another person's shoes, I would behave exactly as they do. Although we may not have access to all the information that would be necessary to understand a person, you can bet that if we did, we would say something like, "Of course they are that way! How else could they possibly be?" The implications for therapy are: Blame and shame have no place, and don't even make sense. Acceptance is the only sensible position. To change an outcome, we have to make the preferred behavior make sense. We must change the context. It will get better when it can get better. We can't judge ourselves into positive change. We can move us from a shame-based place of "What's wrong with me?" to a context-based "What happened to me?" and finally to an empowering stance of "What's possible?" This belief also allows me to radically accept people just as they are. Even before I have met you, I genuinely believe you are doing your absolute best. (And I believe that "your best" can and will grow.)