Stefan Baumgartner

Licensed Associate Professional Counselor|Clinically Supervised

The first time I thought about becoming a therapist, I was in my last year of undergrad and a mentor in career services suggested the profession. It made sense to me! I had strong communication skills, was passionate about listening to people's experiences, and enjoyed supporting people when they were going through hard times. But at that time, I thought, "What advice could I give others? I have some life experiences, but I know there's so much more out there. I'm still figuring out who I am and who I want to become!" I'm glad I had that insight back then because it propelled me to lean into adventure, take risks, and make new discoveries. I moved from my hometown in Indiana to San Francisco to grow my perspective and further embrace my queer identity. I took those years one at a time, discerning what was right for me and always chose the path of growth and groundedness. Growing up Mennonite (more secular than other Mennonites), I found value in community, service, and spiritual connection to others and the world, but I also experienced a lot of religious shame, especially surrounding my sexuality. I connected with queer Mennonites in San Francisco and did so much healing. I'm grateful for my queer Mennonite elders for giving me space to express, experiment, and attend to my internal and external self and I wanted to be able to do that for other queer people. I worked as a social worker and gained skills in de-escalation, reflection, facilitation, and advocacy. It was rewarding work, and I also saw the pervasive need of mental health care and wanted to work with clients longer term. Mentors of mine continued to suggest therapy as a profession, and I wasn't ready to take the leap because my job at the time gave me room to grow professionally and the means to continue finding myself and living in the Bay Area. I experienced so much of life there! Love, heartbreak, couples therapy, reconciliation, changes in friendships, my own individual therapy, grief from living away from family, depression, anxiety, ups and downs of self-confidence, housing instability, work/life balance, burnout, stress, loss, exploration, mindfulness, dance classes, joy, suffering, and much more. After 5 years there, my long-term partner and I decided it was time to move back east. We quit our jobs and took a 3-month backpacking trip through Southeast Asia to experience the various cultures there. That was January-March of 2020, so our trip was cut short and we fled back to the U.S. due to the pandemic. During lockdown, I finally had the time to discern my career, my vocation. I worked through the book "What Color Is Your Parachute," which helped me think about who I wanted to work with, in what capacity, my skills, interests, and lifestyle. Through interviews with loved ones, professionals in various fields, and my own self-reflection, I decided on becoming a therapist. I knew I would never have all of life's experiences before taking the leap, but I had a lot more and knew I had the capacity to listen and empower clients to find direction and meaning in life. I wanted to create a space to nurture and gently challenge clients to reflect on themselves, clarify what is important, and take the leap they need.

One lesson that has left a lasting impression on me is "know who you are and own it, all of it." That means being aware of systems of oppression and doing work for social justice. It also means knowing that all of my identities come into the therapy room with me, including my whiteness, maleness, queerness, non-disabled body, and more. I must know how these identities may affect the therapeutic relationship and how my clients' identities affect their lives. When I first started as a social worker, I hid a lot of myself in hopes of de-emphasizing my privileged identities. That did not serve me or my clients, so now I bring as much of my authentic self into sessions! I am compassionate and warm, and I also like to challenge and bring curiosity to people's actions and thought processes. I use my whole body when expressing myself, facial expressions as well, and I love using humor. I see people's strengths, bring them to the forefront, and encourage clients to have more self-compassion for themselves.

One of my biggest strengths is hearing to all that is going on for a client, finding the "gold nuggets" of deeper truth, and reflecting it back in a synthesized form. These moments help clients discover new insights and perspectives. Mentors have also told me that my presence is like "golden hour" - a calm and compassionate space to look inward, making the shadows more evident but less overwhelming.