Sunkeissa Cantrell

LPC

I am a fighter, I have always had to be. I come from a long line of alpha women that take care of the house alone. Whether they are single moms and have sorry men in their lives. Who does the strong person talk to when they feel weak? Who can you share your most intimate details with about your life without hearing your business in the street or feeling judged? As a woman, I've been burned telling my business to the wrong person. I had to learn that's why you pay a professional, to keep your secrets and to not judge you. I believe in being vulnerable, because no one can always be strong. I learned how to communicate, because depression sets in when you can't express yourself to someone that truly understands you. I learned to forgive myself, because it's ok to not always have all of my shit together. I am a woman, that is not perfect. I became an expert on helping women just like me emotionally thrive.

In life I have learned that my mental health maintenance is equally as important as my car maintenance. I drive my car every day and it is the glue that holds my independence and stability together. Everyone has experienced a car breaking down, it feels like your world is crumbling, because the glue that holds everything together is gone. Once I learned that my mental health maintenance was just as important as my car maintenance it changed the game for me personally. If you just put gas in a car, yes it will continue to run, but eventually it will break down. You have to incorporate regularly scheduled maintenance. That's what effective communication, counseling and me time do for me; that's my regularly scheduled maintenance. I had to learn that without these things, I break down just like a car would. I had to learn to PRIORITIZE MY PEACE. I learned that it is ok to be selfish sometimes, because without your mental health, what is the glue that holds you together?

I think the biggest thing that stops people from getting counseling is the old saying, "Don't tell nobody your business." Imagine having mental warfare and no soldiers to help you. Once we break the stigma of what counseling is, we can help so many more people. The first part of the process is identifying that you're having an issue. Admitting you need help does not make you weak. In fact, it makes you stronger than the majority of people, being able to admit you need help. You break generational curses by taking a different path. Never be afraid to take the path less traveled. I remember when I was at my lowest point and I couldn't pray my mental pain away and no one in my family talked about mental illness. I felt so alone and crazy, because I did not understand what I was going through emotionally. I then found out years later, that my mom has depression and generalized anxiety disorder and my father has schizophrenia. Imagine being an adult and learning these things after the fact. Feeling something is wrong with you, but not understanding what is wrong because no one in your life ever talked to anyone and when they did talk to someone, they did not share the diagnosis with you. People have been taught not to talk to anyone. If you are not going to break the cycle, who will?